im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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