tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
