Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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