That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
