I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
