Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
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