i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
