he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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