Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
