keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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