His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
