I've blown a few things in my day
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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