I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
