Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
