She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
