Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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