It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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