Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
