i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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