it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
