I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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