I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
