I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
