I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
