I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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