I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
