I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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