I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
