I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
