a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
