I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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