Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
