Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
