She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
