I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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