Old men and throwing up are my life now.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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