Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
