i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
