talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
