Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
