fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
