I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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