oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
