I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize