Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
