you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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