I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize