i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
