Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
