I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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