If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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