go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.