oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
