Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
