so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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