its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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