after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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