Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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