is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
