And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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