best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
