i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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