she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
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at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
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ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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