It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
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