If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
